John and Mary Shock have discovered a spiritual truth that seems like a paradox but proves itself true through practice: the more you give for others, the more your heart is blessed in return.
The Poplar Bluff couple, married for 62 years, are members of Fellowship Church and have spent many years volunteering their time and talents in the kitchen to blessing others, particularly those who struggle with addictions to drugs and alcohol.
They spent years cooking for the church on Wednesday nights for church dinners and Thursday nights for the Fellowship of Acceptance recovery group until the limits of age required them to scale back.
“It got to where I couldn’t handle the stuff coming out of the ovens and stuff that was up high,” John said.
Instead of stopping entirely, they shifted to cooking hot rolls and desserts and teaching others how to cook.
“It’s difficult to describe the feeling of self-worth when you are able to help someone,” John said. “I get more out of that than I would finding a $100 bill on the streets.”
The couple has also worked closely for several years with Recycling Grace, a Poplar Bluff-based residential treatment and recovery center for women. It was here that they began to share their cooking experience with the residents.
“For the first 30 days they’re in the program, they’re not out working,” Mary said. “They have to spend a certain amount of time trying to get over the addiction, so we started going over and being with them and just got to know them.
“You find out the more you do for other people, the more that comes back to you,” she said. “The more you give, the more you want to give, and then the more you’re blessed.”
Mary, 84, is a former counselor, and John, 90, was a teacher, coach and school superintendent. They still do what they can to help people overcome addictions and find a new direction and purpose in their lives.
“With this group, it’s watching the ones who come back and work there or come back and tell you about the change in their life that’s a blessing,” John said.
“John and I moved last year, and with some of the ladies who were in the first 30 days, I called and asked if some of them could come help us pack stuff to move,” Mary said. “They were thrilled to death to get out there for the day.
“I tell them they’re the heroines,” she said. “They are the ones who have taken the effort and the time to make a change in their life.”
“They’re the ones who I admire because they’re coming out of situations we just couldn’t imagine,” John said.
“We’re limited now that we can’t cook a whole meal, but we can encourage these ladies,” Mary said.
“I offered to be a mentor to one of them, because we don’t have their story, but we can always listen,” she added.
“Sometimes just being there and listening does them more good,” John said. “We can act as a sounding board for them.”
In addition to food and cooking skills, John and Mary also have a life of experience to share, and they often do it with a healthy portion of humor.
“One thing the ladies like about us is our being old,” Mary said. “We’ll say we’ve been married 62 years, and the other day, one of them asked John, ‘Well, how did that happen?’
“He said, ‘We had an agreement when the kids were little that if you left, you also took the kids.’”
“They got a kick out of that,” John added.
“We have tried never to both be down at the same time,” Mary said. “If he needs to lift me up, he will; if I need to lift him up, I will.
“They get such a kick out of him telling them about my lack of cooking skills when we got married,” she said, “and he has a gift for making them feel like we’re all together, just one big silly bunch of people.”
“The laughter helps them, too,” John said.
“We just love being around them,” agreed Mary.