The reality of juggling stress

Life is a juggling act, wife, mother, banker and volunteer Christina Frazier-Moore of Poplar Bluff told those at the first Women Aware luncheon since the COVID pandemic began.

When the pandemic interrupted her life, Frazier-Moore admitted, she put on a happy face yet allowed depression to slip into her life.

From home, she supervised 30 people juggling 14-hour workdays and “trying to be a happy wife doing all those wonderful wifely duties, and cleaning house,” she said.

She shared her thoughts about pulling oneself out of depression and learning to dance in the rain.

Frazier-Moore was inspired by watching her daughter Kinsey dance in the rain.

“When the rainbow came out, she stood in the rainbow smiling. It was like her own little pot of gold. I’m like, ‘Why can’t we be more free-spirited, more open, live life the way we want to live it,’” Frazier-Moore said.

Challenging others to be opened minded like Mackenzie, Frazier-Moore talked about failures and successes. She explained she makes it through life with her several tribes, better known to most as friends, coworkers and family.

When COVID shut down workplaces, she thought operating from home would be great.

“The first year, I did pretty good but the second year got me,” she said. “It really sunk in, I’m a hermit. I’m not a woman at home that doesn’t have a career. I have a career. I have my work to think about, but if me, personally, is not happy, nothing else is happy and nothing else works.”

She reached out to trusted friends to help her remain accountable and overcome challenges and habits.

“I love social media, but I also hate social media,” she said. “I’m like, why am I sitting here being a busybody on everybody else’s stuff? Could I be exercising? Or I could be cooking, preparing healthy meals? Or could I be out with my friends or reading a book to my kid?”

She dislikes social media, because “you see these perfect little boys, perfect mom and dad. They’re smiling, or they’re doing perfect things.”

People clean up their posts, but “I would rather see real,” she said. “I was comparing myself to these people I thought were perfect. Newsflash, nobody’s perfect. We all have ups and downs, we all have good and we all have bad.”

She stressed one has to have confidence and be their own best advocate.

“You have to stand up for you. If there are things you don’t like about yourself, change them. Grow as a person. Even if you’re 80 years old, there’s still room to grow,” she said.

Everyone needs boundaries to keep a professional temperament and a balance to life working from home, she said.

When people say, “I know you can work from home and answer your emails at eight o’clock at night. You should still do it,” she said, “I tell my customers, if I am available, I typically will check my emails up until seven o’clock. I’ll answer calls probably up until eight. But, after that, I’m out. I’m tired. I’m going to sleep, play with my kids. If I don’t respond to you, I have a family obligation.”

Establishing boundaries “has been empowering,” she said. “At five o’clock on Friday, this laptop goes down and I unplug the whole thing. I shut down. I’m done working unless I absolutely have to. There’s nothing on that computer that will not wait until Monday morning at eight o’clock. You have boundaries...”

Fraizer-Moore said, “I think talking down to yourself is probably the worst habit a woman can have. The world’s hard enough. We don’t need to be hard on ourselves. Give grace to each other and give grace to yourself.”

She recalled, “One day work was super busy and I thought how am I going to do this? I thought why am I taking all of this worrying and bearing it on my own shoulders? I have a tribe around me who supports me; encourages me. Reach out to them.

“I don’t have to hold it in, but even better yet, give it to Him (God), let go of it. In that moment, I felt instant peace.”

“In life to succeed, you have to fail, that’s how we learn,” Frazier-Moore said. “Do you know how many times I’ve fallen and had a friend pick me up? More times than I can tell. Family members pick me up. Even if we fail, in five years, is it gonna matter? Probably not. Try it. If nothing else, you’re gonna learn something. Why (do) we commit and follow through for everybody else but ourselves?”

Frazier-Moore dared everyone to find friends, “even if it’s one person, Make friends with everybody in the world. If you have one or two super close friends, you’re blessed and you’re lucky. Find those tribes, lean on them.

“What I really would love is for each of you to pick one thing you want to challenge yourself to do, to change a habit, to live a better life for yourself,” she said. “Not for your husband, not for your kids, for you.”

The program was sponsored by Ozark Federal Credit Union.