Lillie Mae (Gowen) Raybern, aged 81, passed away of natural causes on July 2nd, 2021 at NHC-Desloge in Desloge, Missouri.
Lillie Mae, named for her father’s mother, was born April 14, 1940 at home in the Township of Coon Island, Butler County, Missouri. She was the second and first surviving child of five and the only girl born to Verna G. (Stout) Gowen and James B. “Jim” Gowen. Growing up Lillie lived on her parents’ 160 acre farm that produced cash crops such as corn, cotton and soybeans, as well as eggs, cream and new potatoes. She attended grades one through eight in a rural one room schoolhouse, and every fall she helped her family in the fields during Cotton Vacation from school, where lunch could include tea with ice chipped from the blocks she and her oldest brother carried home from the ice man for their icebox, and an inning or two of baseball on the radio before it was time to return to the fields and pick.
In high school she enjoyed performing in plays, senior cheerleading for the basketball team, and writing articles and creating artwork for the school’s monthly paper. As a Senior she took a class trip to the south, visiting Biloxi, Mississippi, New Orleans, Louisiana and wading in the Gulf at Pensacola Beach, Florida, before she went on to graduate as Salutatorian of the Neelyville, Missouri High School Class of 1957, having managed to carry a heavy class load and extracurricular activities and still remain only one third of a point behind the class Valedictorian. Always holding fond memories of her high school companions Lillie attended her 20-year and 50-year class reunions, and saw many of her old school mates a final time during a Coon Island reunion in 2013.
On graduating high school Lillie moved to St. Louis, Missouri to live and begin her career in office administration, and this is where she met her first husband, Thomas V. Wilk. They were married in February of 1958, and she moved with him to Omaha, Nebraska where he worked at OFFUTT Air Force base as part of his Air Force commitment. It was at OFFUTT that she gave birth to her only child, Crystal D. Wilk. She and her first husband were divorced in 1963. By 1965 Lillie and her daughter had returned to Missouri and lived in Poplar Bluff, where she held various secretarial and administrative positions during this period, including at Ozark Border Electric Cooperative, the Butler County Juvenile Office and the architectural firm of Drew & Jablonsky.
In March of 1969 she married her second husband, Norman L. Davis, and moved to a little white house on rural route 2 in Broseley, Missouri, with apple and plum trees in the yard, a little garden patch out back and an irascible next door neighbor. It was with Norman that she traveled to see New York City. By 1972 they had divorced and parted ways, and Lillie once again returned to live and work in Poplar Bluff, joining the First Baptist Church in 1973 where her Christian faith began developing into a strong and solid comfort to her in the bumps and bruises of her life. She became an active member of the First Baptist adult singles ministry for many years and helped to organize social events and out-of-town trips such as a conference in Ridgecrest, North Carolina, which introduced her to the lovely Smoky Mountains.
Lillie eventually began office administrative work at the local Coors Distributorship, where in the early 1980s she met her future third husband, Charles E. “Chuck” Raybern, who was an OTR driver ferrying supplies to Coors distributorships. They were married in April of 1984. One of Lillie’s favorite stories about her marriage to Chuck involved the fact that she had always wanted a sister. Chuck had been born into a large family of siblings, and when she married him she delightedly acquired nine new sisters. She liked them all, and they all liked her. Before they married there were long road trips on his large, cross-country motorbike where Chuck introduced Lillie to what became her lifelong passion for the Rocky Mountains. During their marriage she would sometimes travel with Chuck on his trucking rig to see places she’d never gone to before, always taking along their beloved apricot teacup poodle, Goldie, and these travels spawned many photo albums of all the beautiful scenic places they’d seen. It was with Chuck that she visited the Rockies, the Redwoods, the Grand Canyon, Old Faithful, Las Vegas, San Antonio and Acapulco, Mexico.
After completing training for on-site hotel management with Regal 8 Inns in July of 1984, Lillie and Chuck managed properties in Mobile, Alabama, Dubuque, Iowa and Kansas City, Missouri before retiring from hotel management in 1991 and moving to Lake Timberline, Missouri to be closer to her family while Chuck returned to OTR driving.
In 1992 Lillie decided that she would like to work again, but she knew that to do this she’d need additional computer skills. And despite the fact her high school records had been destroyed by fire long ago she talked her way into Mineral Area Community College without having a high school transcript and took classes to learn those skills, regaining her zest for academic excellence when she received a perfect score on her very first quiz, and subsequently all the rest. She spent time at her computer lab at the college communicating via email with a Kansas City university campus where her daughter was pursuing an advanced degree and managing her own computer lab.
In 1998 Lillie began working part-time in the Lake Timberline administrative offices, where she spent 14 years being the friendly face that greeted property owners and guests 2 or 3 days a week. In 2000 Lillie and Chuck moved from Lake Timberline to a cozy little house in Farmington, Missouri where she continued to work her part-time job while he drove for the Creech Bros. trucking firm until his retirement in 2005. She left her position at Lake Timberline in 2012.
In July of 2013 she suffered the loss of her third husband due to multiple long-term illnesses. They had been together for over 30 years and married for 29 years and a bit less than 3 months.
In her final years Lillie enjoyed reading, television comedies and country music award shows, crossword puzzles, taking walks in the neighborhood to pet all the dogs she could find, chats with friends and neighbors, listening to rain on her rooftop and slipping outside to gaze at spring flowers, airplanes buzzing about in the vast blue sky, beautiful sunsets, fat full moons, rare celestial comets and the Great American Total Eclipse of 2017.
During her tenure in skilled nursing she enjoyed eating all the meals she didn’t have to prepare for herself, spending all her money in the snack machines, sitting on her favorite couch to chat with her friends John and Dot, going out for pizza, tacos, catfish or medium chocolate ice cream cones during her daughter’s visits, and telling the nurses and aides about the fresh flowers that often graced her room or the pretty butterflies that flitted about on her walls and curtains in her butterfly-themed personal space.
Though she pursued a life as a big city career woman, Lillie possessed the soul of a country girl, open and trusting and often enough bruised by the vagaries of life in an imperfect world. And while she might’ve said that hers was a small life, others would say that Lillie achieved what many good and honest people value most; a simple, average life full of faith and happy memories. A goal that kings and rich men throughout history strive for yet rarely attain. May she walk peacefully now in Heaven, light of heart, and surrounded by all the loved ones who’ve gone before her. Goodbye, Mom, just for now. We’ll chat again later in Heaven.
Lillie is survived by her daughter, Crystal D. Wilk; her stepson, D. Eugene Seagle and his wife, Helen and their family of Denver, Colorado; her eldest surviving brother, John B. Gowen and his wife, Sheila and their family of Bonne Terre; her youngest brother, David A. Gowen and his wife, Christine and their family of Troy, Missouri; her second husband, Norman L. Davis of Poplar Bluff, Missouri; her aunt, Josephine Richards of Poplar Bluff, Missouri and her aunt, Arlene Stout of Bonne Terre, Missouri.
In addition to her parents and eldest infant brother, James Bertrand, Lillie was preceded in death by her first husband, Thomas V. Wilk; her middle brother, Leonard L. Gowen and her third husband, Charles E. Raybern.
Visitation will be at Cozean’s Funeral Chapel, 217 W. Columbia St. in Farmington, Missouri on July 9, 2021 from 6 - 8 p.m. Graveside service and interment will take place on Monday, July 12 at 11 a.m. at Oak Hill Cemetery in Lawrence, Kansas.
Lillie loved flowers and animals. Arrangements for her services are welcomed, and charitable donations in her name can be made to your preferred animal rescue charity.
Condolences may be left at the Cozean website: cozeanfuneralhome.com