In the summer of 2018, at the age of 15, Kristi and Eric Boles’ son Ryder was diagnosed with testicular germ cell cancer.
The Dexter parents were determined to fight the battle every step of the way. With unwavering support from family, friends, and community, they made it.
“When I knew the start date of treatments,” recounts Kristi, “that meant I knew the end date of treatments. The fear and uncertainty turned to determination and optimism once they gave us a plan of action.”
Eric adds, “After the diagnosis came back, I really had no time to think about how good or bad things were. I did not want Ryder, my wife, nor younger son to know how worried I was. I stopped denying that it was happening and committed myself to making things work for my family.”
The Boles are both teachers at Dexter Senior High School where they also coach tennis. They were able to work with administration to rotate their days in the hospital, and at home when necessary, to be with Ryder during his week-long chemotherapy sessions.
Kristi points out, “When you still have one son at home, you have to keep living and making life as normal as possible for him. My parents spent as many or more nights in the hospital with Ryder as I did. This allowed Eric and I to take turns, so that P-Joe was still getting to see both of us.”
Eric adds, “Kristi and I had a system. I would be in St. Louis Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. She would come up Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The next visit we would switch.”
With support from their family, coworkers, church family and community, the close-knit Boles found they did not have to fight alone.
“We are not people who like to ask for help,” observes Kristi, “but at some point you have to give in and accept the help that is being offered. Coworkers took our duties at school, there were fundraisers, food brought to our home, gift cards for food, prayers for Ryder, and there were hugs when we needed some love.”
Eric continues, “I have lived in Dexter since 1995, and have felt like a transplant and outsider most of that time. However, watching what this community did for my son and my family really made me feel as though I truly was a ‘Dexterite.’
“As the son of a career military father, I never really had a hometown, and it warmed my heart to see how a town can rally around those in need when they are at their most vulnerable.”
The Boles agree that this journey has heightened their appreciation for the ordinariness of daily life and the gift of life in general.
“I have always been a devout Catholic,” says Kristi, “and definitely leaned on my faith to trust that it all was God’s plan. I asked, ‘Why Ryder?’ but really, ‘Why anybody?’ Cancer does not discriminate. My brother Cory also had testicular cancer, and I honestly believed that was Ryder’s lifesaver. I was very proud of Ryder for telling us when he found something right away, or this could have had a different outcome.”
Eric discloses, “A major impact of all this has been to remind me to slow down and enjoy every moment I have with my family. It’s okay to not be going all the time. I have caught myself just listening to my sons — giggling and laughing with each other or their mother. The little things affect me more now than ever before.”
For parents whose child may be facing a cancer diagnosis the Boles offer these suggestions.
“Stay positive and ask a lot of questions,” advises Kristi. “It will be very scary at times. Remember that you are all in it together and people cope in different ways. My other bit of advice is to ask for help when you need it. You are not alone in the fight.”
Eric echoes those sentiments. “Stay positive, remain confident that medicine will find a way. It’s okay, though, to take a moment and let it all out. There was a ride home from St. Louis where the emotion finally got to me. I pulled over and broke down. Things were so much better for me after that. It is okay to have those emotions of fear and uncertainty.”
In an effort to pay-it-forward for the love and support shown to Ryder, the Boles family began a charity tennis event.
“We are always looking for ways to give back to the community for all that was given to us during Ryder’s journey,” says Kristi, “so in 2019, Eric began a Courts for Cancer day.”
Courts for Cancer is similar to Hits for Hope, which is held during volleyball season. The Courts for Cancer event is held during a regularly scheduled DHS tennis match in the spring.
“Weather permitting, Courts for Cancer will be at the DHS tennis courts on May 4,” Kristi notes. “Those wanting to be a sponsor will have their name on the back of the event shirts, but we welcome all donations. The proceeds will go to cancer patients in need of assistance and to charities that assist cancer patients such as 18 Fore Life and Friends of Kids with Cancer.”
For more information about Courts for Cancer contact Kristi at kboles@dexter.k12.mo.us or Eric at eboles@dexter.k12.mo.us.