Dexter family speaks of loss to COVID-19

__Part 1 of 2__

When an aged family member becomes ill under normal circumstances, the family’s usual reaction is to gather close to the loved one to offer support and comfort.

Now, with the onset of COVID-19 and social distancing, a large gathering is not safe for either the afflicted elderly, or the family.

For those with family in nursing homes, this distancing is particularly difficult because no one is allowed inside the facilities.

Two Dexter families have been especially affected by the COVID virus and the resulting restrictions.

Both Josephine Hueckel and Ann (Anna) Denson became ill with COVID around May 14. They were both residents of Crowley Ridge Nursing Home in Dexter, which experienced one of the worst care facility outbreaks of the coronavirus for our area, despite taking early precautions to protect its residents.

Hueckel is one of seven residents who lost the battle with COVID-19, which can be especially hard on the elderly and those with preexisting conditions.

At 101, Denson is among the survivors and is now back at the facility. While recovered, she continues to test positive for COVID and remains isolated in the COVID wing.

This is the first of two articles sharing their families’ experiences with the illness that has devastated many regions of our country and world. Denson’s story will appear in the Saturday edition of the Daily American Republic.

Stoddard County continues to have among the highest numbers of confirmed cases for Southeast Missouri, with 124 positive cases as of Thursday. It is second only to Scott County, both in positive cases and number of deaths, which has 149 cases and 10 deaths.

__Fashion-lover Hueckel chose a bright red dress for her funeral__

Josephine Hueckel was 91 years old, with dementia and high blood pressure, but otherwise no serious health issues.

She was a social person, who loved fashion. She leaves behind two children, who were not able to be at her bedside when she passed.

“It was so hard for me to have her in the hospital and not be able to see her,” recalls daughter Rita Speight of Dexter. “I had not been with her since mid-March, so you can imagine how I felt when I got the call from the nursing home on May 14, that she had a 103 degree temperature and shortness of breath.”

“She was sent to a Poplar Bluff hospital on Thursday, and passed away on Monday.” Speight goes on to say, “Mom never went on a ventilator and died peacefully.”

Speight says prior to the COVID-19 diagnosis, her mother was in relatively good health, eating well, and enjoying her life in the long-term-care facility.

“Mom was a social person. She got along well with the activity director, the social worker, and the staff,” Speight relates. “She would sit beside the nurses’ station because she liked to be out-and-about sharing in the action.”

Speight says once her mother was admitted to the hospital, that facility did everything they could to help the family deal with the emotional situation.

“The staff was wonderful,” asserts Speight. “We were encouraged to call, and those on duty always took time to talk to us. They were honest with us about her chances — due to her advanced age.”

“One of Mom’s nurses in the hospital, was someone I had known when I worked in hospice following my retirement from teaching. I can’t tell you how much it meant to know that she was being watched over by someone so special. That nurse even sang hymns to Mom to comfort her.”

Josephine and Newby 'Bud' Hueckel of Dexter, were married over 50 years when he passed away in 2009. Josephine contracted the COVID-19 virus and passed away on May 18.Photo provided

Hueckel had planned out every detail of her funeral, her daughter says, but during the state’s stay home order, the services ultimately were limited to only those closest to her.

“Mom was into fashion and clothes, so some time ago she had picked out the red dress she wanted to wear at her funeral,” Speight explains. “She had planned out every detail, so it was hard when we had to exclude everyone but family from the service. The only ones attending were my sister Mary Green and I, her son Dustin Ward, my husband Larry, our daughter Sarah Moore, and our minister Michael Williams.”

The family originally planned for a closed casket during the service.

“I didn’t think I could bear to look at her; however, the casket was open prior to the service,” Speight recalls. “My sister went to get one last look at Mom, and came back and said, ‘That red dress really looks good,’ so I went in, and she did look beautiful. I am glad, now, that I did it. Seeing her helped a little bit with closure, but not completely.”

Speight says the days following her mother’s funeral were very difficult, and she still is struggling with the grief nearly a month later.

“The day after the funeral was the hardest,” Speight recalls tearfully. “I was overcome with such a sadness and sense of loss. My pastor said it was probably because I had not had those last days and moments with Mom that we need to be able to come to terms with what is happening. The fact that I did not get to say goodbye makes it somehow almost unreal.”

Speight goes on to say, “I am still missing her, and am still struggling with closure. Losing your mother is hard, regardless of your age. But under these circumstances, it is especially difficult and heart-wrenching.”

Hueckel is among 909 Missouri residents who have died from COVID-19 since early March. Of those, 459 people were older than age 80.

The state of Missouri has scene 16,625 cases of COVID-19. Rates continue to increase at less than 7% per day, according to the Missouri COVID-19 Dashboard.