Random acts of kindness help mother honor son's memory

At least 29 people experienced random acts of kindness last week in the Poplar Bluff community in celebration of what would have been Lucas Francis' 29th birthday. The acts were birthday gifts for Francis, who died Nov. 10, 2014 in an automobile accident in Potosi, Mo.

His mother, educator Monique Gribbins, decided to remember his special day in a unique way by performing acts of kindness.

About three years ago, family and friends joined her in marking his special day. No one is required to tell what they’re doing. She’s trusting them to give their gifts.

Lucas Francis and his mother Monique Gribbins at his graduation from Southeast Missouri State University. Francis was taking a break after earning his bachelor’s degree before starting his master’s degree when he was killed in an automobile accident. Photo provided

Lucas was one of four brothers. He and Kenyan were born on the same day a year apart. Kenyan is serving in the Air Force as an air traffic controller in Japan. Hudson is an architecture student at Drury University in Springfield, Mo., and Billy will be entering high school in a few weeks.

“He was a good kid with a big heart,” Gribbins said. “He also was very giving, funny, joking and had the wisdom of an old soul.”

Each year, Lucas would give money to people begging on the street even when he was reminded the money was for his vacation.

Along with giving, Gribbins remembers him showing affection, being strong willed and strongly determined to accomplish his goals.

He especially enjoyed being a practical joker and laughing. When the family played games, he’d figure ways to cheat and no one would know what he was doing until he told, she said.

He was a graduate of Poplar Bluff High School where he played trombone in the SHO-ME Band and sang in the choir.

Gribbins recalls, he was “very gifted” and went to state competitions several times with choir and band.

He also was a member of National Honor Society. Gribbins recalls, when her niece Paige Bradley was inducted into the society, Paige signed the same society guest book at the Bloodworth House as Lucas.

“It is pretty neat they are in there together,” she said.

Lucas was of the Baptist faith, active in Boy Scouts and he “loved camping, fishing, video games and animals,” she said. He was a lifeguard at the local water park.

He had a unique sense of humor and was a very, very funny practical joker.

He graduated Southeast Missouri State University Summa Cum Laude with the highest distinction earning a dual degree in psychology and biology. He had graduated in May and was working as a counselor at the YMCA in 2014, he was taking a break from college before going to get a master’s degree in occupational therapy. He was working at the Potosi YMCA as a counselor giving tours of the caves. On a day off work, he was driving and hit a tree. Even with his seat belt and an air bag, Lucas didn’t survive.

His love for family and friends, as well as his giving spirit continue to live in his family’s hearts and minds.

“He loved his family and friends. He gave all of himself.” Gribbins recalls a time when, “I was really sick and he took care of Billy. He took him to the doctor and helped him with his homework, he took care of me and the family when he could have been doing other things.”

As years go on, his death continues to be hard for Gribbins, who explained, “you just have to go on. It is a pain you can never ever get away from and in my opinion nothing compares to losing a child.”

While her family is supportive, “they cannot take the pain away. They have their own pain. I have to keep going and God helps you through. I will never understand why, but God knows.”

His birthday and the anniversary of his death are especially hard for her. Since she cannot give him anything for his birthday, she decided to do something good for someone else. Each year, she wants to have random acts of kindness done to equal his age. By doing this “his memory lives on in positive and good ways for other people, I know he would love that,” she said.

She knows she cannot accomplish it by herself, but his friends and family help.

While it is a “sad day for me, positive and good things are moving on because of him,” she said. “Some people are out there buying breakfast for others, paying for people’s meal in the drive-thru. I don’t ask, I just trust people are doing something good for someone. I truly think they are.”

“Everyone grieves differently,” Gribbins said. “For me, this is what makes sense. There is something positive out there and I look forward to good happening on this day because he lived. It is hard to get past angry questions. God has pulled me through and helped me. God is good and so is this.”

As she fights tears, Gribbons adds, it is “about keeping his big heart, caring nature and his unique sense of humor alive.”

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