Dustin Grogan was 19 years old. He had a 10-month-old daughter, and a new wife. He was loving and funny and sweet. He was so protective of his two younger sisters, and the best older brother, said Katlynn Steers.
Steers was 11-years-old when she found her brother dead July 10, 2006, on their family property in Stringtown. He had committed suicide.
"Even with this long of a time, it's still like it's fresh ... it's still there like it happened yesterday," said Steers, 23, of Ellsinore.
Steers is a survivor of suicide loss.
On Saturday, she will join other community members and families in recognizing International Survivor of Suicide Loss Day.
An event will be held from 1-3 p.m. at First United Methodist Church on North Main Street.
It will offer a chance to learn more about how others have coped with this kind of loss, as well as an opportunity to pause and remember loved ones, said Rebeca Pacheco, executive director of the Butler County Community Resource Council.
The CRC will host Saturday's event in coordination with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. While four of these events are planned in the state, this is the only one in Southeast Missouri.
For those in Grogan's age group, 15-34, suicide is the currently the second leading cause of death in Missouri, according to the AFSP.
There is no single cause, AFSP reports, but it most often occurs when stressors exceed current coping abilities of someone suffering from a mental health condition.
Steers later learned her brother had been discharged from the Air Force because of mental health issues and he was seeking treatment at the time of his death.
As an adult, she can look back on a troubled young man. As a child, his death felt like a betrayal.
It happened the same year their parents divorced, and Dustin had promised to be there for his sister.
"I think my whole life would have been different if he were still alive," said Steers. "I kind of went on a really downhill spiral after that happened. Within a couple of years, I was getting into a lot of behavioral trouble."
Steers' mother took her to counseling, and tried to keep things upbeat for the family. A teacher at Neelyville devoted extra time to her, Steers said.
And Steers also saw the impact of suicide on other members of her family. Two others have died from suicide, while two more have attempted suicide.
"It's made me more aware of my mental health. If I feel like I'm having any kind of problem, I know to address it immediately, so I don't get down the same rabbit hole," she said.
On Saturday, she wants to be able to offer support to others who have experienced this loss, or who may be struggling.
"It's important for me to go, so if somebody needs support or needs to talk, I've dealt with this. I've been there," said Steers. "To me, it seems like if there are more people around you, you don't feel so alone, so isolated with your problems."
For more information about the event, contact Pacheco at rebeca.pacheco@thecrc.org.
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Editor's note: This is the second of two stories looking at how suicide loss has impacted families in this region. The first appeared in the Thursday edition.