Shanna Vanderburg has a tradition every December, but it's not about the holidays or celebration.
It is mired in grief and tied to the death of a longtime friend.
Every year, she visits a Poplar Bluff cemetery to put flowers on her friend's grave. Vanderburg marks the day the young woman died by suicide.
Shanna is a survivor of suicide loss. On Saturday, she will participate in an effort to bring families and community members together for support.
Held in honor of International Survivor of Suicide Loss Day, the event will take place from 1-3 p.m. at the First United Methodist Church on North Main Street.
On average, one person dies by suicide every eight hours in Missouri, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, a partner in Saturday's event.
Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the state, AFSP reports.
Talking about loss is an important part of the recovery process, and helps remove the stigma that families may feel when they have lost a loved one to suicide, said Rebeca Pacheco, executive director of the Butler County Community Resource Center.
The CRC will host Saturday's event, the first of its kind in Poplar Bluff.
"We'll be coming together and we'll be remembering our lost loved ones," said Pacheco. "We just want to provide a space for families and friends to remember their loved ones and find support. To shore people up going into the holidays is, I think, an important aspect of it too."
The event is also held for survivors of suicide attempts, she said.
Events like this are being held throughout the United States. There will be four Saturday across the state, but this will be the only one in Southeast Missouri.
In addition to these events, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. See page A2 for more information on the warning signs of suicide and what to do if you are concerned about a friend or loved one.
For Vanderburg, the support of her husband, family and friends helped her deal with feelings of grief and anger.
"You're angry they did it, that they left, because you need them in your life. And you go through guilt, of why didn't I do something to keep that from happening," said Vanderburg. "It's just sadness."
She hopes to gain more insight Saturday to unanswered questions, like could she have done something differently that would have helped her friend.
"I just feel like, with suicide, the pain doesn't end. When those people committed suicide, the pain just really transfers to other people," Vanderburg said.
Her friend had struggled with thoughts of suicide before, and made previous attempts, said Vanderburg, of Poplar Bluff. She had faced struggles before, and recently entered a relationship that surprised her friends and family with its suddenness.
But to strangers, Vanderburg believes, it looked like her friend had a good life, with two children, as well as a good job and home.
"They saw it on the outside, that she always seemed very happy and friendly and sweet," said Vanderburg, a former Puxico resident. "To a lot of people, I think her life seemed perfect, if you didn't know the personal things she was going through."
Vanderburg hopes that in sharing her friend's story, community members also realize people may be struggling more than they seem.
"No matter how things seem on the outside, it may not be that way for that person," she said. "They may be struggling with something, no matter what kind of facade they have."
Vanderburg and the woman had been friends for more than 15 years when she died. They shared the joys and pains of raising children. They loved going to concerts together, canoeing and just spending time with each other.
This December's trip to the cemetery, and another on her friend's birthday, are an attempt to share one more confidence with her friend.
"It's kind of something that makes me feel like I'm letting her know I'm still thinking about her," said Vanderburg. "We have so many good memories. It's like a member of our family is gone."
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Editor's note: This is the first of two articles looking at how people in the region have been impacted by suicide.