By SARABETH WALLER
The date is July 22, 2016. It's the middle of the summer, yet clouds overwhelm the sky, and the day's high temperature is just 64 degrees. A typical summer day in this corner of the world.
After a two-hour train ride with my visiting family, and a 30 minute walk, we approach an 800-year-old castle. As we emerge onto a walkway, we stare in awe at the looming Russian fortress just across the Narva River. The river that forms the border between Russia and Estonia.
I remember this day because it's one of the many times during 2016 that I paused to take it all in and think to myself, "I can't believe this is my life."
World travel is the norm for some people. My family and I are not those people. Or at least we weren't just a few years ago. In 2014, at age 29, I had never been on a plane and didn't even have a passport. I had been out of the country once, when my family drove to Canada before that required a passport.
I grew up in Ellington before moving to Ellsinore in middle school. I knew by the time I was 16 that I wanted to be a journalist. I pursued that dream through Three Rivers College and Southeast Missouri State University. I graduated in 2008 with a mass communication degree, and one week after my last day of classes, began working for Butler County Publishing.
I spent nearly six years between the Puxico Press and the Daily American Republic (and one summer at the Prospect-News). I was sure I was going to be a journalist for the rest of my life. I figured I would always stay in Missouri. I would definitely stay in the United States, because I never had a desire to live in another country.
I'm often asked what led to this drastic career change, from Southeast Missouri reporter to Northeast Europe missionary. I really have no explanation other than that, after lots of prayer and thought and talks with friends, I felt God leading my life in a different direction than I expected. The culmination of that was a mission convention in the spring of 2014 at my home church, Bluff First Assembly of God.
My path to becoming a missionary is a long story, which I already shared with DAR readers nearly two years ago. But by the summer of 2014, I had quit my reporting job and spent a month in Eastern Europe. I was drawn to Poland and offered a position there, but Estonia captured my heart. I returned home, applied to be a missionary, spent months raising support, and arrived in Estonia on Dec. 2, 2015 to serve a one-year term.
When people hear that I spent a year in Europe, they seem puzzled when I say that it was as a missionary. Likewise, when someone first learns I'm a missionary, they don't always understand why I'm in Europe.
Admittedly, when I was growing up this is not what I pictured when I heard "missions." I assumed missionary work meant digging wells in Tanzania or building orphanages in India. Those are very worthy causes which many in my organization dedicate their lives to. But missions work goes beyond meeting material needs.
What many don't realize is that Europe is becoming increasingly atheistic, and Estonia leads the way. It was recently named the third least religious country in the world, behind China and Japan, with 84 percent of residents claiming no religious affiliation. Just 0.2 percent of the population is Evangelical Christian.
It can be hard to envision statistics. So let's apply that to a city the size of Poplar Bluff. If Poplar Bluff were 0.2 percent Evangelical, you could add up all the Baptists, Pentecostals, Methodists, etc., and there would be just 34 of them in the whole city.
Despite the stereotypes aimed at both reporters and missionaries, I am not a pushy person. I do not feel called to pressure or berate people into a relationship with Jesus. I don't stand on street corners, chastising people and shoving tracts at them.
My passion, however, is that people at least have the option to accept Christ. In places like Estonia, that's often not a reality. Many Estonians don't even know a devout Christian.
For example, last fall I attended a conference for English-speaking writers in Estonia. First off, let me so it was so nice to once again be in a room full of "my people"! I instantly connected with several of the journalists there.
After the conference, about 20 of us went to a local restaurant. I began chatting with an Estonian woman in her late 30s. She is very well educated and has traveled the world. She asked what I do now, since I'm no longer a journalist. I told her I worked for a church.
"Oh," she said. "I've never known someone who worked for a church!"
I tried to play it cool, but that comment startled me. It was a reality check. Most Americans at least know a pastor, or know Christians, even if they don't attend church. With churches on practically corner, they have many places to turn if they have questions about faith. However, that's not a reality for my Estonian friends.
Of course, that is not to say Estonia does not have societal issues as well. On the surface, it is thriving. Skype was invented in Tallinn, the capital city. Free wifi is available almost everywhere. It's a new tech center in Europe, with entrepreneurs moving from all over the world to get their start there.
Tallinn also boasts one of the largest and best-preserved Medieval old towns in all of Europe. Nearly half the country is forest, and the Baltic coast is downright beautiful. Estonians also have access to healthcare and affordable higher education.
Many issues lurk just under the surface, however. Alcohol abuse is rampant. The culture is also very sexually permissive, which legalized prostitution and the age of consent at 16. I lived in a good neighborhood, one block from the U.S. Embassy, and there was a business two buildings down called Sex Box.
The combination of copious amounts of alcohol and very casual sex can lead people to make unwise choices. Although it's dropped about 12 percent with the introduction of improved maternity leave policies, the abortion rate is still nearly 40 percent in Estonia. Estonia is also home to the highest rate of HIV transmission in Europe.
The rates of depression and prescription drug abuse are just as alarming. Estonia is a Baltic country, along with Latvia and Lithuania. Although their combined size is only about as large as Missouri, all three are within the top 15 in the world in suicide rate.
While I don't "push" Christianity on anyone who isn't receptive, we're learning that more and more Estonians are finding freedom in a relationship with God. Our vision is to begin a church planting movement across the Baltics, so those who are interested in learning more about Jesus at least have that opportunity. As church planters, our eventual goal in any city is to train our replacements and leave the church in the hands of locals.
While our American affiliation is the Assemblies of God, in Estonia we are affiliated with the EKNK, the Estonian Pentecostal Church. The EKNK was officially born just one week after Estonia regained its independence from the Soviet Union, after decades of underground church growth.
And as we partner with pastors in the Baltics, we are seeing that dream become a reality! My church is called Focus Church (Fookus Kogudus in Estonian). Our first service was in September 2014, a little over a year before I arrived.
I expected slow growth of the church. My year in Estonia, however, completely blew away any expectations I had. In October, we even had to add a second service each week because our 80-capacity meeting area was no longer adequate! Currently, Focus averages about 140 people each week, and 280 visited on Easter!
The most exciting part for me has been to witness the change in Estonians, many who are now my friends. As they find meaning and purpose in their everyday lives, their whole demeanor changes. And after experiencing the joy and peace that comes from a relationship with God, they become so passionate about sharing that with their friends!
I'm also often asked about what my role is with the church. My primary role is "church plant team member." Essentially, I do whatever is needed each week to ensure our events and services are as excellent as possible.
Sometimes that means cleaning the bathrooms or setting up chairs. Often it means running an info table in the hallway. It means leading short-term teams that visit each summer. And it means being a part of whatever event we have at the time - Alpha Course, kids camp, programs for single moms, etc.
I also began and led a young adults ministry, which grew from 5 at our first meeting to around 25 for some of our summer events. The group is still meeting sporadically (due to the volunteer leader's job schedule) in my absence, and I can't wait to be back with them full-time!
I also manage social media and marketing for the church. In such a modern city, and a society where people are typically introverted (at least when sober), this is a vital part of our ministry. Some members of Focus Church admitted they followed us on social media for weeks or even months before ever stepping foot inside our building!
Finally, although numbers are exciting, the only way to ensure we can one day leave this church in Estonian hands is through discipleship. We want those who will assume leadership to truly understand what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, and to be able to explain that to others. So discipleship is one of our pillars. I discipled up to three young women at a time, meeting with each one individually and weekly.
Again, my first year in Estonia was incredible. It was difficult. I moved just three weeks before Christmas, and as the only single missionary on my team, I missed my family terribly. I had to leave my pets behind. I didn't see my nearest and dearest friends for a year. But it was all absolutely worth it.
It was so worth it, that I'm planning to return to Tallinn for two more years! I must raise enough for my living expenses before I leave, and after six months, I'm currently at 84 percent funded! At this rate, I hope to leave next month!
Although I'm commissioned through the Assemblies of God, I've been blessed with many church partners in this area, including General Baptist, independent Pentecostal, and nondenominational congregations. And my individual partners come from all kinds of backgrounds!
If you're interested in partnering with me to plant churches in one of the least religious countries in the world, you can do so at www.s1.ag.org/sarabeth.
As for keeping up with me as I continue my journey, one of the best ways is follow "Sarabeth in Tallinn" on Facebook or Instagram, which is where the majority of my photos are posted. You can also email me at sbwaller@outlook.com to be put on my monthly email newsletter list. Finally, if you want to see more of what I did over the past year, you can visit www.sarabethwaller.wordpress.com. Just scroll through until you find a post that catches your attention! I wrote one blog for each month that I was in Estonia.
As I watch the budget percentage rise steadily, and I anxiously watch the days tick by toward July, I can't wait to begin the next step of my journey as a church planter. If you're one of the people who helped me get there through prayer or financial support, I want to say a huge thank you. And my Estonian friends say thank you as well! This wouldn't be possible without you!
If I had to come up with a moral to my story over the past few years, I would say this: Do not be afraid. Not only is that phrase found numerous times in the Bible, it's just plain good advice. Quitting my job, leaving the security of a full-time journalism career, saying goodbye to friends and family, and moving overseas is one of the most terrifying, difficult things I've ever done. It's also the best decision I've ever made.
I was so afraid at first because I'm a planner. A plan gives you an illusion of control. But it's just that - an illusion! In reality, I could have lost my job, my family, even my life at any time.
I now live my life with the daily knowledge that it's all in God's hands anyway. And it has been all along, even when I didn't acknowledge that.
If you have a big dream, don't be afraid to chase it, even when you don't feel in control. You never know the incredible journey that may await!