In life, it seems more and more that we are encountering more and more boorish people. We are encountering people with a chip on their shoulder and are just daring you to knock it off.
I know that there are days that I am a grumpy old man. I know that there are days that I have as the old saying goes, “Awoke on the wrong side of the bed.”
If we are honest, we all have those days from time to time. We have those days when we seem to be disagreeable with everyone. We may be going through a hard stretch in our life’s journey. I trust that we are just not plain ornery.
But it seems to me, more and more there is a mean spirit all across our nation and even around the world. In my faith tradition, we often use the phrase, “Let us agree to disagree,” or let us respect each other’s view points on scripture and social issues.
But how do we do that? In the gospel of John, Jesus tells the disciples, “I give you a new command: Love one another.” But it seems that sometime people and life situations present us with some hard choices of trying to love.
But how do we carry out that command when life seems to put “non-lovable” people in our lives? Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek, but how do we do it with ornery people?
Jesus also made it clear during the Sermon on the Mount that people should avoid revenge and should, instead, aim to treat others even our enemies with love. “But now I tell you: do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, let him slap your left cheek too,” Matthew 5:39. For Jesus, agreeing to disagree or turning the other cheek means being kind and compassionate. I am the first to admit that it is hard to do that. Jesus makes it clear that the two most important commandments are to love God and love others.
Thinking carefully on both of these sentiments is essential when one decides to agree to disagree.
In Matthew’s gospel, Jesus replies to a question surrounding the “greatest commandment of the Law.” Jesus proclaims, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Sometimes loving others means selflessly putting those agreeing to disagree or turning the other cheek Bible verses into practice. Rather than striking out or responding, it means having self-restraint and seeking to find common ground. It sometimes means going above and beyond the call of duty to create and foster peace.
How do we do that?
Sometimes we also simply have to pause and pray for strength. When difficult people make life seemingly impossible, or when we’re faced with what appears to be a challenging task, we should pray to God for discernment, while also praying for the other person. The Scriptures repeatedly affirms the importance of prayer.
Psalm 5:3 tells us, “In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Prayer not only calms us down, but it can also lead to important guidance in how we should handle difficult people. When we rely on prayer and reflect agreeing to disagree Bible verses, we find ourselves in an important position to show grace to others.
Just as we struggle to agree to disagree or turn the other cheek, consider the times we, too, have made errors and how others have reacted to those mistakes. We can reflect and learn from those very personal instances. No one is perfect and it’s very likely that we, too, have made mistakes in the past errors in judgement, behavior or commentary that have hurt people. I know that I am a sinner saved by God’s grace. I have missed the mark many times.
Our past behavior is sometimes the best pathway for understanding how to deal with current and future issues. Showing grace for others means understanding that no one is perfect and that we must live out that reality with hope, compassion and forgiveness.
The Apostle Paul tells the early church at Ephesus, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast.” So we know that Faith does not save us, but rather Grace. Ephesians 2:8-9
Turning the other cheek can be easy when the offenses seem minor or relatively nonthreatening, though there are times when the reaction or action from someone else is so severe and damaging that we simply must walk away. In the heat of the moment, sometimes it’s better to leave a situation or to create some distance between us and the other person or party. This allows for cooler, rational heads to prevail.
If someone yells at us or confronts us, it’s sometimes better to say, “Let’s calmly discuss this, or at a later time when we are more rational and able to reason with one another.” Other times, silence is necessary when attempting to turn the other cheek or agree to disagree. Unfortunately, there are some situations we need to walk away, no longer allowing hurtful people to overwhelm our lives.
We must as the Scriptures say, If someone is inhospitable to you or refuses to listen to your testimony, leave.
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Rev. Frank Chlastak began work as senior minister of First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), Poplar Bluff on Sunday, Sept. 13, 2015.
He is a graduate of Northeast Louisiana University and New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and has served congregations of the Christian Church in Louisiana, Arkansas, Virginia, Oklahoma and Missouri.
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