Time apart, danger is a shared sacrifice

Service comes in many forms, and for those who join the American military, it is something that extends beyond the recruit to their spouses, children and other family members.

The sacrifices made by veterans are shared every day by their loved ones.

This is the second of a two part series recognizing the family members of service members.

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Laura Williams is eager to share her perspective of being a military wife.

“I am honored to serve my country through support for my husband and to our service members,” Williams said.

Her life changed drastically after meeting her future husband, Kelly Williams. She was a single mother of four and he was a single father of three.

He was serving in the Army National Guard with a military police unit in Kentucky. She worked at the Family Counseling Center in Poplar Bluff, while studying for a master’s degree in social work.

After joining their families, they had seven children ranging in ages 6 to 15.

“I had four kids,” Williams said. “When I met him, he had three kids. We decided to get married.”

Once they were married, he moved to Poplar Bluff from Kentucky. His unit was about to be deployed to Iraq, where he spend a year.

“It was scary with him being there, but I had peace,” she said, admitting, “he did a lot to protect me.”

He was a gunner on top of a turret and he also transported insurgents by either helicopter or land.

Meanwhile, Williams’ life became even busier at home. She was working full-time, studying for her degree and had seven children to raise.

“My husband is a strong man of faith,” Williams said, adding, she knew he was offering “a lot of prayer,” which to her meant he was with the family in that sense.

“The kids really pulled together,” Williams said. “My oldest took charge and became a mini me.”

Early on, her husband was deployed twice to Iraq and then to Qatar. He later transferred to a military police unit in St. Louis.

“One of the things to be promoted, you often have to travel to a new unit,” Williams said. “He would drive from Poplar Bluff to St. Louis for drills, but a church friend drives from Poplar Bluff to Kansas City for drills.”

“When he was home, we would take big family trips,” she said. “He is very much a family man. He is the fun dad and I am the disciplinarian mom.”

Williams admits, “in Army life, you don’t get to spend all your time with your spouse, you have to make long distance relationships work. You make a lot of decisions and hope you make the right ones.”

After earning her master’s degree, Williams worked at the John J. Pershing VA Medical Center as a mental health worker in suicide prevention, military sexual trauma and intimate partner violence (domestic violence).

“I loved working at the VA,” she said.

The couple has been married 15 years. Kelly Williams served more than 20 years in the military before he retired as a staff sergeant.

Today, their roles have reversed.

After qualifying to open her own independent practice, Williams currently is working for the active duty Army at Fort Campbell and lives in Tennessee. Her husband is a medical support assistant working at the VA in Poplar Bluff.

“I come home on weekends,” she said.

Currently, she is working with Warrior Transition Battalion, which includes soldiers who have been wounded and/or have behavioral problems.

“We work with them to prepare to go back to duty or to transition to civilian life,” she explains. “Working with active duty soldiers and being a social worker gives me a full picture of military life.”

Their children are in Kansas City, Arizona, Tennessee and their Marine son and Marine daughter-in-law are moving to San Antonia, Texas.

“Military life as a family does need support,” she said. “With all those kids, I could not get everything done.”

From her experiences, William knows, a lot of young families out there could really use support.

Thinking of her raising her children while her husband was deployed, she suggests ways to help a military family while the soldier is away.

“I think a phone call, or stop by and ask if you may cut their grass. Ask may I watch kids while you go to grocery store or offer an ear,” she said.

Another way to help, William suggests, is “be there for the kids who are fearful dad or mom is gone. Kids need support.”