Far apart, but close at heart, families celebrate Mother's Day

Krystal Hobgood of Bernie and her mother Kelly Owens are fairly flexible when it comes to planning special family celebrations.

“We have celebrated Mother’s Day in a variety of ways throughout the years,” laughs Hobgood. “There have been early celebrations, belated celebrations, and occasionally, we might be lucky enough to get together on the actual day.”

Hobgood explains that her husband, stepson and brother all work non-traditional schedules, so the timing of family gatherings typically depends on their availability.

Kelly Owens, formerly of Bernie, visits her mother Carolyn Scales via social distancing.Photo provided

“Besides planning around the work schedules, both my boys have always participated in spring baseball,” Hobgood adds. “This often meant that, at least, a portion of Mother’s Day was spent at the ballfield.”

“We try to choose days and times when our family can all be together,” observes Owens. “It is not so much the day that is important to me, as making sure there is a common time that we all can share the occasion as a family.”

Owens explains her accommodating outlook simply. “Life is hard and stressful today. Families face situations and obligations that they have no control over. I am not going to add to the anxiety by demanding that they be somewhere at a certain time on a certain day because that suits my schedule.”

With the eruption of the COVID virus into society, scheduling family gatherings is only a part of the problem. Stay-at-home and social distancing regulations make it necessary for families to consider different ways to celebrate. Hobgood says her family, like others, must find ways to share the joys of the day while following safe-distancing practices.

“My family is a family of huggers,” Hobgood adds good-naturedly, “so social distancing has not been fun for us. It’s particularly hard at times like this. Both my husband Derek and I have grandmothers in long-term care facilities. Ordinarily we would have hand-delivered our Mother’s Day cards ourselves; however, because the nursing homes are closed to visitors, I had to mail the cards.”

“Things are definitely different this year,” Owens remarks. “Last year I was able to attend a beautiful dessert luncheon with my mom, Carolyn Scales, at her facility. This year, with social distancing, there was a drive-and-honk parade instead.

“The residents were outside watching for their loved ones to drive by. We made signs for our truck, we had noise makers, and we played ‘Sweet Caroline’ on the stereo. Since we weren’t able to get out of the vehicle to give Mom our gift, a staff member took it to pass on to her.”

More than 30 vehicles participated in the Honk-and-Drive MothersÕ Day Parade in Dexter on Thursday afternoon.DAR/Nancy Nelson Vines

Owens observes thoughtfully, “It seems as though forever since I had a hug from Mom. I have been visiting her through a glass door of the facility that allows us to hear well enough to chat. I find solace in simply looking into her eyes and hearing her say, ‘There’s my baby girl.’”

Although Owens spent most of her life in Bernie, 15 years ago she and her husband, Dwight, moved to Jackson because of their work. That move, however, has not removed them from being actively involved with family members who still live there.

“Both our children, Krystal and Waylon, and their families live in Bernie, as does Dwight’s mother, Reba Owens. My parents’ home is there, and even though my mom no longer resides in her house, that was our gathering place for our Mother’s Day celebration — on Thursday evening.”

Owens says that her parents’ home offers the perfect place for an outdoor gathering.

“The big yard gave us plenty of room to enjoy a social distance picnic, and the kids had space to run and play,” Owens observes. “It was a typical celebration with all of us together talking and enjoying good food. What was not typical is that our affectionate family, was not able to be affectionate. No hugging. No kissing. I don’t like that, but it’s what we had to do to keep each other safe.”

Kelly and Dwight Owens, both originally from Bernie, now live in Jackson. On May 25, they will have been married 41 years. After 30 years in banking management, Kelly now works as an administrative assistant at Southeast Missouri State University. They have two married children and five grandchildren.

Krystal Hobgood is a life-long resident of Bernie. She and Derek Hobgood have been married 14 years. They have two sons, Dalton and Cane. Krystal is the high school librarian and Beta sponsor at Dexter High School.