True friendship is up to the challenge

As I watched Riyann practicing her new beloved sport, jiu jitsu, it was evident she was doing her best at two things. First, she was striving to pay attention and learn what her instructor was teaching and secondly, she was careful not to embarrass her new best friend she was partnering with. Knowing my child, it was evident she could do much better but, in the moment, she found joy in simply doing what she loved with someone she revered.

With each passing drill, I found it was getting more and more difficult to adhere to the signs which were strategically placed throughout the training area directing parents that “no coaching” was allowed. Desiring only to remind my child what the instructor said, I held back my words and simply watched. While the girls rolled around, struggling to perfect the skill their instructor taught, each seemed to find a sense of enjoyment from the others’ presence. As the class ended, I watched the two girls give each other accolades and quickly gather their things.

As we walked to the car, I reminded Riy about the importance of practicing like her instructor directed. As we spoke, I explained that I understood how she didn’t want her friend to look bad, by using the tactics on her, but learning the skill was paramount. She nodded her head in agreement and described to me that she “just really didn’t want to hurt” her friend. Upon explaining that her friend wouldn’t be hurt by the tactics if she did them like her instructor showed, the opportunity arose where I could truly teach the child a valuable life lesson.

True friendship entails sacrifice at times. As I spoke to my child, I explained that friendship in its purest form included each friend doing their best to help the other succeed. Within the realm of sports, when she performed the skills taught, she was in fact helping her friend learn and become more proficient. The child shook her head in agreement although I’m relatively certain she was not truly buying what I was saying.

As we drove home, I couldn’t help but think about the girls and friendship. So often in life we live by the mistaken belief that we must always treat our friends with kid gloves, avoiding any hardship or pressure. Although good to a point, true nobility can be found when friends challenge themselves to become better regardless of the situation. Maybe it is helping our friends to learn a new skill, maybe helping them overcome, or better yet, it’s a whispered word of correction designed to straighten out their path. Be a true friend, worry little about how or what we say or do may impact our friendship but rather center on how it will embolden our friend. That my friends is true friendship.