Compassion measured by the decade: Jim & Kathy Sanders found God’s purpose helping grieving families

Jim and Kathy Sanders, owners of White-Sanders Funeral Home in Fisk, have been helping families in Butler County and the surrounding area say a final good-bye to their loved ones for more than 42 years. They have no plans to retire any time soon; in fact, they don’t feel that decision is entirely their own.

“Everything Kathy and I have done has always been guided by our faith. We feel this is God’s purpose for us. We could not be where we are if not for the fact that God put us here, and as long as He allows us our good health, we will just continue to do what we are doing,” says Jim, who is 65.

Jim grew up locally and spent his childhood on the farm. He enrolled in Three Rivers College in 1973, and was about halfway through his second semester when he realized what he wanted to do with the rest of his life.

“I attended mortuary school in Louisville, Kentucky. I started working here at the funeral home in 1975. At that time, it was owned by Carl and Onedia White, and they sold the business to me in 1976,” Jim says.

He was only 21 at that time, and single, but not alone.

“A month after I bought the funeral home, my parents sold their printing business so that they could come and help me,” he says.

His dad, the late Robert Sanders, worked at the funeral home until he died. His mother, Wanda, is now 92 and still helps out as needed.

Kathy and Jim married in 1977. She is a native of Poplar Bluff, and the daughter of the late Lawrence “Cotton” and Freddie Prewitt.

Kathy, who is now 70, reflects that she has spent her entire married life working alongside Jim at the funeral home.

“We lived in a small apartment in the back of the funeral home the first 12 years of our marriage, so this is where we spent all our time as a family, and where our children grew up,” she says. “Our daughter Jamie learned to roller skate down the hall, and our son, Justin, used to bring his friends here after school and for sleepovers.”

Justin and his wife, Christina, still live in Fisk with their two children, Daniel, 10, and Liam, 8. Jamie and her husband, Steve Burkhead, reside in Poplar Bluff.

One naturally associates a funeral home with death, and certainly the Sanders have nothing but respect and compassion for the families who come to them during their times of grief and loss.

But for them personally, the chapel represents what is most precious: life, family and home. Their happiest memories as a family have been made inside the walls of White-Sanders.

“Also, this has been a place where families come together, to reunite, sometimes after years of not seeing one another, and to comfort one another,” Kathy points out.

Therefore, they also see their chapel as a place where healing begins.

Jim regards his job as an extension of ministry, more so than just a business.

“Probably the most important thing I have learned is that everyone is different in the way they grieve. As a funeral director you build relationships and you treat each person the same, regardless of their uniqueness,” he says.

The Sanders have seen many changes in their 42 years at the funeral chapel, and they say the most important thing they have had to learn, is to adapt to change. “We are doing the same thing today that we have always done, but we are doing some things much differently than we did when we first started,” says Kathy.

“It used to be that families lived within the same community. It wasn’t unusual for a death to occur, and the family would come in and make arrangements to have visitation that evening. The funeral would be the next day. That doesn’t happen anymore because family members are scattered, so it takes them longer to gather,” says Jim.

Innovations in technology have brought about significant changes in just about every facet of their business.

For the Sanders family, White-Sanders Funeral Home represents what is most precious: life, family and home. Their happiest memories as a family have been made inside the walls of White-Sanders. DAR/Paul Davis

“Change is not necessarily a bad thing,” says Jim. “It’s how we address the change that makes the difference.”

Kathy remembers, “Jim had to buy an extra long extension cord for our telephone, so that when we were outside playing with the children we wouldn’t miss any calls.”

Having cell phones has allowed them to be mobile.

“Also it used to be that we had to take obituaries to the newspapers, and photos had to be picked up or dropped off and taken to the print shops for memorials. Most of these tasks are done over the computer now,” adds Jim.

At no time has there been more of a need to adapt to change than recently, with the COVID-19 pandemic.

Wanda Sanders was the first to realize she had to succumb to change.

“Due to her age, mom has had to stay away from the funeral home. That is hard for her because she likes to be here, and loves visiting with people. Instead, she has been staying busy and active in her garden. In fact, I am getting her a golf cart she can use to drive back and forth,” Jim says, adding, “Mom truly fits the description of what it means to be ‘ageless.’”

Gardening and canning are pastimes shared by mother and son.

Also, changes had to be made to accommodate the restrictions for social gatherings. Some families plan to have a memorial service later, when the virus is no longer a deterrent. Others have the services live-streamed. One family chose to be more resourceful rather than completely break with tradition.

“The daughter of a well-known woman who died scheduled the entire visitation so that not more than 10 people attended at one time,” Jim says.

Social distancing puts a huge damper on the way people can interact at funerals.

“For now, we have lost that human touch, and that’s important, too,” says Kathy.

The Sanders found it much harder to adapt to the restrictions when it came to having to miss church attendance.

“This past year was only the second time that Kathy and I were not in church on Easter Sunday. The only other time was when Justin was born and Easter was the day we brought him home from the hospital,” he says. “Our church had online services, but it just wasn’t the same.”

The Sanders attend Fellowship General Baptist Church of Poplar Bluff, where he is a worship leader. He also serves on the board of trustees for Oakland City University in Indiana.

Looking ahead, the Sanders don’t see a future that is likely to be much different than the past 42 years.

“We enjoy our life in this community. It’s hard for us to think about doing anything else,” says Kathy.