The home Felicity Ray shares with her husband Brandon in Poplar Bluff has been full of life since the couple welcomed their first child, a healthy baby boy named Brady, into the world on May 19. Felicity gets up through the night for feedings and dotes over her newborn day in and day out. Family and friends drop by often, delivering flowers and food to show support. She is exhausted, like all new mothers are in the first weeks after bringing their babies home from the hospital.
For Felicity, the journey to motherhood has been bumpy. Unlike most new mothers, having children naturally is not something she can do. But thanks to her lifelong friend Samantha Persons, the light is shining bright at the end of the tunnel. To express her love for her "best friend forever," Samantha volunteered to be a surrogate mother for Felicity and Brandon's child. She gave birth in May with the Rays by her side.
In 2006, at age 29, Felicity was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent chemotherapy. The type of cancer growing in her body thrived on hormones. Knowing she hoped to become a mother one day, and at the recommendation of Dr. Sherman Silber at St. Luke's Hospital in St. Louis, she chose to have one of her ovaries removed and frozen for use as soon as one day arrived.
"With the type of cancer I have, which is fed by hormones, if you get pregnant, you run the risk of it coming back; or, if it was never fully gone and you get pregnant, it can spread aggressively," she said.
After many months of cancer treatment, she received news she was cancer free. By 2014, Felicity had fallen in love and married Brandon, and by July 2015, the couple was ready to start a family. One day had finally arrived.
At age 38, she visited her doctor who replaced her chemotherapy-damaged eggs with one-third of her 29-year-old preserved eggs. Due to conceive within four months following the implant, Felicity learned her cancer had returned following a bone scan during September 2015. When she received the news, she knew pregnancy was no longer an option. Felicity said she was broken hearted but spent only a few moments in tears before diving into a new plan; a plan to find a surrogate.
"I knew it was going to happen," Felicity said. "I was going to do everything I could to find a surrogate. I never dreamed it would be my best friend. We were going to hire someone if we had to."
Felicity said she immediately began researching surrogacy on the internet. She said she was amazed to learn anyone with a uterus can carry a baby, even if they have experienced menopause or are no longer able to become pregnant naturally.
"Dr. Silber said he's had 60-year-old mothers carry for their daughters because all you need is a uterus, an open mind and a big heart," she said.
Felicity said she called Samantha one evening to talk through her feelings. She said Samantha began telling her about a dream she'd recently had in which she delivered her best friend's baby... and it was a boy.
Samantha, who has three children of her own with husband Keith, then volunteered to carry Felicity's baby. She said she simply enjoys being pregnant and was more than willing to help.
"I told (Felicity) about this crazy dream I'd had a few nights before and I just wanted to do it," she said.
Stunned, Felicity told her friend to talk it through with her husband and to give it more thought, but said she knew in Samantha's mind the decision was already made.
"I told her 'Samantha, you introduced me to my husband, if you do this, you'll be hugely responsible for the creation of our family,'" said Felicity with a laugh.
Samantha immediately began prepping her body for the pregnancy. For 2-3 months, she took prenatal vitamins, adjusted her eating habits, incorporated herbal teas known to enhance fertility; she said she took steps above and beyond what she did to prepare for her own pregnancies. A long-distance runner, Samantha said she is accustomed to eating and living a healthy lifestyle, which is why Felicity felt so comfortable with the situation, she said.
Samantha's first consultation at St. Luke's was on May 5, 2016. She, Felicity and their husbands all attended the appointment, as doctors wouldn't move forward without spousal approval.
During the appointment, Samantha learned about shots she'd be taking for 120 days beginning mid-August. The shots used two-inch long needles which had to be inserted completely into the muscle tissue in the lower part of her back. The medicine contained hormones Sam's body needed to sustain an unnatural pregnancy. The Rays and Samantha's husband were trained on how to administer the shots, since she was unable to give them to herself.
Samantha received her first dose during her family's summer vacation. Felicity explained to her it was very important to keep the medicine at room temperature to maintain its effectiveness, but she already knew and said she had a plan ready to go.
"I was in Teton Village (Wyo.)," Samantha said. "You couldn't let it get too hot or too cold, so I just kept it in my purse the whole time."
One month later, on Sept. 13, it was time for Samantha to undergo the transfer procedure during which two embryos were implanted in her uterus. After a long day and a much needed stop at Cracker Barrel, it was time to settle in and wait to see if the implant procedure had worked.
Early on Sept. 20, while on her own vacation in Arizona at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, Felicity awoke to a picture of a positive pregnancy test sent to her via text message from Samantha.
"I gasped and handed my phone to Brandon," she said. "We were due for pregnancy-determining blood work two days later on my 40th birthday," but said she was thrilled when Samantha surprised her two days early with an over-the-counter pregnancy test.
"It was an amazing day. We hiked the canyon and reveled in God's miraculous beauty," Felicity said.
The next few weeks were full of blood tests, family support, and lots of prayer.
At their six-week ultrasound appointment, Samantha, Felicity and Brandon received quite a shock. They already knew the transfer worked, but instead of one sac or even two, three sacs were visible on the screen. One of the embryos divided into identical twins, meaning instead of one baby, Samantha was potentially pregnant with triplets.
Upon further investigation, doctors learned one of the sacs had not developed a heartbeat, leaving Samantha pregnant with twins. She wasn't shaken at all by this news since she'd already delivered her own twin boys 11 years prior.
The pregnancy carried on successfully, with Samantha taking daily shots until Nov. 30, 2016. By this time, she was able to visit a local doctor, just as most other pregnant women can do. Samantha chose to utilize her personal OB/GYN, Dr. Donald Jones. During the 14-week ultrasound, two heartbeats continued, those of Brady McKade and Samuel Christian.
Nearly a week later, during her 15th week, Samantha began to exhibit signs of potential miscarriage.
"We all became very concerned," Felicity said.
At the 18-week ultrasound, they found out only one heartbeat remained.
"We were crushed at the loss of our angel baby, but knew we had to focus our energies upon the health of our remaining baby," Felicity said.
As Brady's due date quickly approached, Felicity wrote a birth plan for the staff at Poplar Bluff Regional Medical Center. She said she knew the situation was unique and wanted to provide the team with clear instructions for the group.
"It basically said everything Sam wanted to happen," Felicity said. "It was quite lengthy and detailed. A lot of times, no one pays attention to things like that, but it was obvious someone among the hospital's labor and delivery team had read it."
Felicity added during delivery, the plan was followed exactly as it was written. Both she and Samantha were impressed with the nurses and doctors at PBRMC for contributing warmth and professionalism during such a meaningful experience for the families.
Now that it's all over, little Brady snoozes away on his "Auntie Sam," smiling tiny smiles while she talks.
"He loves her voice," Felicity said. "He smiles like that anytime she talks."
"I love him like he's my own baby," she said. "I love him the same way I love my own children."
As Samantha and Felicity reflect on the portion of Felicity's journey to motherhood they now share, the duo said their bond is indescribable.
"I would never do this for anyone else, just for Felicity," she said. "My love for her is like that of a sister."
Throughout her pregnancy, Samantha said she received several complimentary sentiments and also questions from people in and around the community, some of which left her thinking people didn't fully understand the surrogacy process. She said she would often make light of the situation, by saying phrases like "Oh, I'm just holding him for a friend," trying to get a laugh.
"Brady is genetically my and Brandon's child," Felicity said. "Sam just carried him for us because I couldn't."
The women agree they likely wouldn't do it a second time, but not because anything negative happened. They said it's primarily due to the expense and delicacy of the process, and its inherent stressors.
"It took three families to support Sam throughout the pregnancy and get Brady here," said Felicity, whose maiden name is Brady, referencing the Persons, Brady, and Ray families. "Everyone cooked meals, helped with Sam's three kids and sent up prayers."
"Sam's mom, Kelly Spitze, played a much larger support role than I had ever imagined," said Felicity, who added when the couple is ready for more children, adoption is something they will consider.
The birth of Brady was a special moment for the pair, who became friends in ninth grade at Doniphan High School. Felicity said she never imagined Samantha, formerly Reed, tapping her shoulder and asking about next semester's course schedule would lead to a 27-year friendship and a true vow to be "best friends forever"... and all it entails.