Revelle in the past, but don’t get stuck there

As our little family celebrated the holiday season it was difficult not to see a smile in the household. Regardless of whether it was doing some last-minute shopping because the packages we ordered months ago hadn’t arrived yet or the multitude of events we had scheduled, everyone remained in a jovial mood. One of the things that makes the holidays special for everyone in our family is the fact that the girls’ birth dates surround Christmas.

For Lilli, a couple of weeks before Christmas is the time she gets to be the ultimate focus of attention, choosing what her special day will entail and look like. For Riy, it’s a month or so after.

This year, the girls’ birthdays symbolize so much more.

For Lilli, her birthday marks the end of childhood and entry into the teenage realm. Oh yes, that dreaded time for most parents when your child has convinced themselves that they fully grasp what it means to be an adult and no longer require your input or direction.

For us, the transition has been somewhat exceptional. Sure, we routinely deal with the generational clashes and attitudes which would have sent us flying backward aided by our parents’ firm yet loving hands. But overall, the girls have done well. As we sat at home on the eve of her birthday, discussing life in general, a particular thing happened.

While we spoke about life, congratulating Lilli on becoming a full-fledged teenager, I noticed a somewhat solemn look on her face.

She simply, “I’m excited but kind of a little sad.”

As she spoke, she talked about how she is excited about the new stage of her life but apprehensive and “going to miss being a child.”

I will admit I was a bit shocked by my beautiful child’s words.

For Lilli, her drive always sustained her. She strove to be the best helper, student and athlete she could, never concerning herself with her age. She routinely had to be reminded that filling the provider and caregiver role was not necessary and that she really should enjoy being a kid.

As the child, whoops, teenager, enters the new stage of her development she, without a doubt, will succeed and power through her apprehension.

As I listened to my newly crowned teen, I thought about how even us “old folks’ “fear the unknown at times, longing for the safety of the journey that has been well-known and comfortable.

Transitioning is difficult for each of us.

Stepping forward as we gaze into the unknown can leave us with an anxiety-ridden adventure where we can’t seem to overcome our longing for the past.

For each of us, just like Lilli, we must keep in mind that our strength has brought us to the point we are at today. Although the future seems scary or somewhat difficult, our past mirrored the same at one point. It was only when we took the leap of faith and confronted the challenges head-on that we discovered what lies ahead really wasn’t that bad.

Revelle in our past accomplishments, my friends, but don’t get stuck there. Look forward to the challenges before us and approach the challenges of a new adventure with a renewed spirit and excitement.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from nine to 29. His experiences being a single parent, co-parent, and leader, provide a unique perspective on a wide array of issues families face in our modern times. Fulfilling roles as a youth director, elected mayor, educator, county sheriff and business owner adds to his experiences and bolsters his light-hearted approach to life. Tales from the Dad Side is a journey depicted through one man’s experiences penned through written stories and tales which modern families can relate to as they traverse this life.