Hard lessons are lessons learned

Mistakes happen. We fall short on occasion and fail to meet expectations. It appears throughout life these two facts ring supreme for all of us. It’s unavoidable. No matter how hard we try, how straight of a path we walk, or how determined we are we often stumble, sometimes over the silliest things, left with only the consequences of our actions. The girls learned this the hard way recently.

Although exceptional young ladies, our girls are not immune from struggles in life. One of the girls got a little big for her proverbial britches a few weeks ago and since parents find out everything she got caught. The realization that moms and dads did have the ability to find out everything was a hard lesson for the child, one she, like many kids, just shrugged off as parental scare tactics. Where she once thought she was the smartest and most cunning, she quickly learned the error in her reasoning.

Fulling accepting the responsibility for her actions, the child prepared for her consequences and did her best to learn from the situation. As time passed the loss of special items she had become accustomed to, like her iPad and the ability to message friends, became hard but down deep the child seemed to understand why. The hardest part for the child was the responses of others. Although we often discussed the fact that when we do certain things others can view us differently, the child never put much stock in it coming to fruition.

What she didn’t think would happen was exactly what good old Mom and Dad said would. Although not life altering by any means, and common amongst older teens, the mistake she made came with many unseen consequences, one being that several parents now viewed her as a problem child and forbade their children from interacting with her. This along with the self-preserving words of other children shook the child. Given the situation, good old Mom and Dad remained silent, biting their lips, watching as true colors were revealed and hoping that when their own children falter, because they will, that others lift them up rather than finding apparent joy from pushing them down.

Watching my child go through her self-imposed struggle reminded me that life is short and full of opportunities to learn. The hard thing is that sometimes the lesson within the lesson is a hard one. Unfortunately, none of us are immune from making mistakes and having to deal with the ramifications of our actions. Dealing with that is difficult. The key is that we trust and forgive often. For when we move away from the mistake and on towards solving the problem and helping others avoid mistakes in the future while saving face, it is then we set the wheels of progress into motion. Open your hearts to a little mercy my friends. Mistakes happen, we all fall victim to them, how we choose to overcome them becomes who we are in the end. Forgive often, beginning with ourselves.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from 9 to 29.