Parents: practice what we preach

While seated in the truck, trying to find the energy to begin the journey home I listened as Riyann, out of the blue, began lecturing me on the ins and outs of parenting. I couldn’t help but be amused as I listened to her rules. Without prompting, she began: When she becomes a mother, she is going to make sure she is not playing with her cell phone while she drives. I understood she was saying it was important to pay attention and concentrate on the road. What made the entire narrative interesting is that for once, my cell phone was holstered, securely by my side. Sensing that I proudly had complied, before being asked to, Riyann quickly shared, “You know daddy, sometimes you play with your phone when driving.” What’s a man to say? After explaining that she was right, and I shouldn’t look at my phone while driving vmy little angel simply explained that the easiest way was simply to “shut it off.” Not taking no for an answer she patiently waited until I followed her direction to make sure we had a safe trip home.

The child then heard the annoying sound of the seat belt warning emanating from the dash. Sarcastically, she said, “Oh, this car has one too?” Rule number two was that everyone, including the driver, must wear their seatbelts. Feeling I could outsmart the child, I quickly preempted any new narratives on my daughter’s part by adding my two cents. I explained that she was right, the safest way to travel was by buckling up. Hoping she didn’t notice I carried on and placed the vehicle in reverse and began the journey home. Wide-eyed and possessing an “I told you so” grin, the child commenced staring me down. As she caught my attention her eyes moved towards my unattached seatbelt, communicating to get it buckled, old man.

Sensing that the lessons brought by a 9-year-old had concluded, I breathed a sigh of relief and began attempting to redirect my child’s attention to some things which weren’t so deep. Capitalizing on her audience, she then stated, “Want to know what rule three is?” What’s a guy to say? Yep, I excitedly inquired as to what it was. She then explained that our speed was important, and we should never go above sixty miles per hour.

Wrapping her rules of parenting up, Riyann turned to me and asked; “Did you notice I stood in front of you when we were walking to the car?” Explaining that I had, she quickly shared that the reason she did was because if mommy’s car came towards us, on accident, she would be struck first. She described that kids need their daddies so by her saving me, she ensured Lilli would have her daddy around. I explained that her safety was important and that through working together we can all succeed safely.

So often we forget about the fact that our children are listening intently to us even when we feel they are not. Our words and action routinely become their own, if we simply listen. Therefore, we must constantly be on guard, ensuring that our words and actions are suitable for the next generation. Riyann’s rules are no different than the rules our family has lived by for the most part. What I’ve found is its easy to set rules and begin sharing safety tips with our kids. It is more difficult to follow them ourselves, until a 9-year-old points out the obvious. For me my children are everything. The thought of losing one is devastating. What we must remember is that to our children, we are their world and as I found, if necessary, they would choose us above themselves. Slow down my friends, place yourself and your ease on the back burner as we strive to follow the same rules we have set for our kids. For their safety is our reason for rules, likewise, our safety is crucial to them.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from 8 to 29.